is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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