y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize
