the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
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