Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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