i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
