Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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