Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize