we're blogging at a bar
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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