but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
