Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
