found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Randomize
