well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
