...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
