I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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