youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
