it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You need a sexual gate keeper
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
