I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
