all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
