I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
