I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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