i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
