it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
