its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
