How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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