what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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