if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
