She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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