THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize