he thought i was a dude.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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