do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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