did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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