new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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