i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
