Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
