i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
