nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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