So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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