In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
