there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
