After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
