omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
