Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
