if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
