If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize