I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
