I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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