weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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