$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
And then my night got REAL pukey
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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