That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
