Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
