no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
