Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
