there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
And then my night got REAL pukey
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize