I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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