When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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