then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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