I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
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