why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Quick, to the slutcave!
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
