he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
