i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
