My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
