i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
