8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
