i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
